Saturday, June 1, 2013

grief.

I finally asked how long we were going to be here at Brenner. I've been thinking in chunks of 24 hrs and, honestly, I don't think I have wanted to know. The heme/onc doctor wouldn't give us numbers, but gave us a rough estimate of 5+ weeks if the infection continues to improve, if he doesn't get another infection, if his #s continue to rise. So many ifs. And then for 6-9 months to plan on being in the hospital a lot. a lot.

5 weeks.

Lord have mercy.

Last night felt bleak emotionally. It is so hard to comprehend that, at best, this leukemia journey is going to be years. At worst... I can't think about the worst.

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2+ years of treatment.
5 weeks till possibly going home for the first time.
3-4 weeks before he loses his blond locks.
2-3 days before possibly moving out of ICU.

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All of life has turned upside down.


3 comments:

  1. Oh my... his beautiful hair... It's those little tiny things that get you, don't they? I'm soso sorry. I hope you get to save some. I'm so sorry, Hannah. No mother should have to go through something like this. My heart is breaking for you.

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  2. Watts, Piper, Hannah, and Michael, we love you

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  3. Oh, Hannah, I can imagine how overwhelmed you must feel. I had only a touch of what you're going through and it was more than enough for me. Praying you can see God's hand somewhere in the midst of all of this. Knowing that He LOVES you and Michael and especially Watt...even as we question why, why, why, why... My heart aches every time I pray, but still I pray hard, knowing the only solace is in Him. Love you all very much. (Aunt Jenny)

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