Saturday update

 Wrote this this morning but am just now posting it...
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No news, which is good news. Watts was wide awake with Michael in the wee hours of the morning (steroid-induced insomnia) but is napping now and has an uneventful day planned.

Piper is at the Science Center with Aunt Liz, Michael is on a coffee run, and I am grumpy.

Nothing triggered it, I think that I am just weary of all of this. We've been in the hospital for close to a month and that is just a really long time. I'm tired of having my family sleep in different places, I'm tired of the wires and tubes on my baby, I'm tired of the hospital food, I'm tired of it all.

Sigh.

The clouds are dark and heavy outside the window, as I am. The clouds will lift, they always do, but at this moment I am gripped by the thought that this is not as it should be. This hospital filled with sick and dying babies, it is not as it should be. The orphaned newborn babies (in Syria?) stacked on trays from the news clip Michael showed me...Good Lord, this should not be so! Even in the midst of Watts' fight for his life, we daily see the pain (at times much, much greater than ours) of those around us, both in the hospital and on the news and in the lives of those around us. We live in a broken, pain-filled world that is truly not our home.

Today my heart is heavy and I grieve where this world is and cry out come quickly, Lord Jesus.

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Have read Psalm 42 every day for the last several days...

42 As a deer pants for flowing streams,

so pants my soul for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God,

for the living God.

When shall I come and appear before God?

3 My tears have been my food

day and night,

while they say to me all the day long,

“Where is your God?”

4 These things I remember,

as I pour out my soul:

how I would go with the throng

and lead them in procession to the house of God

with glad shouts and songs of praise,

a multitude keeping festival.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation 6 and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;

therefore I remember you

from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,

from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep

at the roar of your waterfalls;

all your breakers and your waves

have gone over me.

8 By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

and at night his song is with me,

a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God, my rock:

“Why have you forgotten me?

Why do I go mourning

because of the oppression of the enemy?”

10 As with a deadly wound in my bones,

my adversaries taunt me,

while they say to me all the day long,

“Where is your God?”

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God.