Peace.

This is so hard.

The joy of holding my son, the ache of seeing him confused and flailing in my arms.

The joy of sedation decreasing, the fear of stepping outside the door in case he needs me.

The whimper cries.

The inability to explain to him what is going on. 
 

We are "making progress" but it is agonizing. Watts is growing increasingly more aware of his surroundings and more troubled by sounds, new faces, and being poked and prodded. He whimpers his discomfort and it rips at my heart. I know that he won't remember all of this but, in the moment, it is heart-breaking as the sedation wears off. I've wept more today than I have since we got the diagnosis.

Peace. Tonight, Watts and his mama and papa need peace and rest.