On our anniversary...

It’s hard to know the words to write on a 9^th anniversary… My heart feels full of words and thoughts and memories, but I cannot figure out how to express them, to make them articulate what I feel I need to say.

I married young and very foolish. I thought I knew it all but in reality knew very little…

But I did know this, Michael was a man that loved me selflessly and whose life reflected so much more of Jesus than mine did, and I knew enough to know that those were two good, good things. So, I married him. Thank the Lord, I married him.

Michael’s love for me has never wavered. Never, ever wavered. Like a rock he is, in a sea of my emotion and feelings—serving, loving, and dying to self for my good and for the good of our kids. Not that my emotions are a bad thing (because, goodness, do I ever love emotions!), but somehow together we are the perfect match. I feel things deeply and he hears me, loves me, and balances me out with perspective and truth.

We’ve had our rough times of marriage, times of learning to communicate, learning to fight well, and learning to deal with some rough life circumstances, and we’ve pulled through. And now, here we are, in our roughest season yet, every parent’s nightmare, and I have no doubt that regardless of what the next two years brings, we are going to make it. And be stronger and more “in love” than before.

Can I just say how very thankful I am to have him by my side?  I do not know how I would do this without him. I have seen this man hold our writhing, feverish son and sing hymns over him for hours. I have seen him sleep for weeks in a crib by our sick son’s side. In the early weeks, I have seen him do work from the ICU room, late at night, and early in the morning so that he can be faithful to his job. I have seen him dance with Piper to silly songs in the hospital room while functioning on no sleep. I have heard him speak words of truth to me during dark hours and breathe hope into my weary soul. Goodness, I love this man.

 

I do not know where I would be without you, babe, and I know for certain that I love you a million times more NOW than I did when I walked down the aisle to you. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes at my exaggeration, but, seriously, I love you.