His love.

The Lord and His love has pursued me. Even in the darkest moments of the last year when there seemed to be no hope, I knew that I was not alone. As I ran after the stretcher carrying my son to the waiting ambulance on that dreadful day last May, the words "He makes all things new, He makes all things new," ran continuously through my mind. I didn't know how He was going to make things new; I didn't know if He was going to spare my son's life or instead eternally spare him from pain and sickness and brokenness by calling him home, but I knew He was good and He was present. It's hard for me to believe it now looking back, but even in the darkest moments in the Brenner PICU, I knew that He was there. He was there holding me up through the long nights of waiting; He was there in the hands of the skilled doctors and nurses; He was there in the prayers of hundreds, possibly thousands rallying for my son; He was there in the courage and the tears of my husband; He was there.

His love sustained me. The Gospel truths breathed life into my weary soul: He is good. He loves me. He loves me so much He gave His son for me. I can rest in His care...come what may. In the last fourteen months, He has whispered over me when my heart has felt discouraged and when all seemed too exhausting and bleak to continue. He has strengthened me when I felt I couldn't continue on my own. Even in these current days of grateful living --sandwiched between wrestling with fears and finding a new normal-- He has been patient and gentle with my struggling heart...

He loves me. Oh, how He loves me.