Diagnosis

Today we received an official diagnosis for Watts: Infantile Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. When we have a little more time and energy, we'll write up a detailed post with some of the back-story (UPDATE: you can read about it HERE). For now, we're exhausted and sad, but also glad to know what's happening and have a bit clearer picture of treatment. Watts has been sedated since we arrived at Brenner and he's peacefully sleeping and not feeling any of the tests, etc. that have been done. It's heart-wrenching to watch and be able to do absolutely nothing. That's probably been the hardest part. We've been reading Psalm 77 a lot and feel encouraged by the honest lament there– we can relate to those feelings– and also the reminder that God is powerful, mysterious, and faithful in his love toward us. Please pray that we would have faith to lean into those realities.

PSALM 77

1 I cry aloud to God,
    aloud to God, and he will hear me.
² In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
    in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
    my soul refuses to be comforted.
³ When I remember God, I moan;
    when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah

⁴ You hold my eyelids open;
    I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
⁵ I consider the days of old,
    the years long ago.
⁶ I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
    let me meditate in my heart.”
    Then my spirit made a diligent search:
⁷ “Will the Lord spurn forever,
    and never again be favorable?
⁸ Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
    Are his promises at an end for all time?
⁹ Has God forgotten to be gracious?
    Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah

¹⁰ Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
    to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”

¹¹ I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
¹² I will ponder all your work,
    and meditate on your mighty deeds.
¹³ Your way, O God, is holy.
    What god is great like our God?
¹⁴ You are the God who works wonders;
    you have made known your might among the peoples.
¹⁵ You with your arm redeemed your people,
    the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah

¹⁶ When the waters saw you, O God,
    when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
    indeed, the deep trembled.
¹⁷ The clouds poured out water;
    the skies gave forth thunder;
    your arrows flashed on every side.
¹⁸ The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
    your lightnings lighted up the world;
    the earth trembled and shook.
¹⁹ Your way was through the sea,
    your path through the great waters;
    yet your footprints were unseen.
²⁰ You led your people like a flock
    by the hand of Moses and Aaron.