Gratitude.

Piper is on the mend and has been fever-free for five days. She still has a pesky cough and runny nose, but we are so thankful that the flu was brief.

Watts, mercifully, seems to be in the clear from getting the flu. He has been having some diarrhea as well as diaper rash due to the combination of Tamiflu and his weekend antibiotic, but has otherwise been happy and wild and thrilled to be home. I went to check his counts locally yesterday and his ANC is currently zero which makes him severely neutropenic and incredibly susceptible to infections. His low counts are expected after his hospital stay and he will be getting neupogen shots at home until his counts recover. Until then, we are holed up at home and praying for no infections or viruses.

Lately I have been feeling a little like the wandering Israelites, gripping in the wilderness over the monotony of manna. Being cooped up with two little ones for days on end makes me feel like a crazy person sometimes and there have been moments where my heart has been less than grateful for our current situation. The Lord is patient with my fickle heart and when I step back with a little perspective, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.

We just made it through a bout with the flu WITHOUT WATTS GETTING IT!

We are home. Period.

I have the privilege to stay home with my children while Michael works...

which is SO necessary during this season. I know not everyone has this ability.

Watts is still in remission and doing great.

My marriage is surviving this cancer hurricane... 

although I wish I could have a month away with my man, 

even in the midst of it, I love him SO much more than I did 8 months ago.

The Lord's faithfulness and goodness to us daily... He has never left or forsaken us.

And to end, I read this hymn verse this morning and am loving it:

Crown Him the Son of God, before the worlds began,

And ye who tread where He hath trod, crown Him the Son of Man;

Who every grief hath known that wrings the human breast,

And takes and bears them for His own, that all in Him may rest.

(Crown Him with Many Crowns, Matthew Bridges)

Home.

Watts literally led the way out of our room this afternoon! We are glad to be home.

Last day.

4 days down, 1 to go. Watts is still symptom-free and we think he might be in the clear from getting the flu. Piper is already on the mend and has been fever-free through the night, thanks to the flu shot, Tamiflu, and the prayers of many.

Watts has done remarkably well this stay and has been in good spirits most of the time, despite being shackled to the IV pole 24/7. He is probably going to go crazy once we get home and he can roam free. We can't wait!

 Thank you for the prayers, texts, visits, and encouragement! We are grateful.

Dang flu.

We found out today that Piper has the flu. It is a mild form of it (thanks to the flu shot she had months ago) but she started on Tamiflu today because of Watts. Our hope is that by the time we go home on Monday evening, she will be on the mend...Watts counts will bottom out soon after we get home. As a preventative measure, our doctors here at Brenner have also started Watts on Tamiflu. So far, he seems fine.

Please pray for protection over Watts and speedy healing for sweet Piper. She is home with my mom and Michael and I hate that we can't be in two places at once!

Etopside stay so far.

As of this morning, Watts has two days of chemo and an IVIG transfusion under his belt. It has been interesting adjusting back to being in the hospital, this time with a very active, walking toddler. Goodness! Entertaining him, walking the halls, and even sleeping at night has gotten so much more complicated. Watts, thankfully, seems to be adjusting well and last night slept about 10x better than he did two nights ago...Benadryl that he gets for 24 hrs post-IVIG might have helped with that too.

Due to there being lots of babies up on 9th right now, we are in a non-pressurized room (a pressurized room has double doors and air only circulates out, clean air comes in to decrease infection risk) and can actually open our door to the hall and wave to nurses and other patient friends as they walk past. I think this is only the second time we've been in a room like this and it definitely helps for sanity.

Please pray for Watts as he has three chemo days remaining, patience for us, and protection from icky hospital germs. Piper was also awake last night not feeling well so pray that she is on the mend soon... in the meantime, she won't be able to come up to the hospital. EDITED TO ADD: Piper now has a fever so my mom is checking out of RMH and Michael is taking her to our pediatrician, which ironically is probably where she caught the bug in the first place (we went to check Watts counts last Wednesday... even though she was stroller-bound the whole time?!).

Pictures from our stay so far...

Half birthday.

The four of us had a little birthday party the other night to celebrate Watts turning a year and a half. He was mesmerized by the candles and loved us singing to him but wouldn't eat a bite of his cupcake. Funny boy. He preferred eating his normal bowl of orzo pasta with butter and parmesan cheese...we've moved on from peanut butter crackers and macaroni and cheese now.

Cancer has a way of making small things like half birthdays feel monumental and celebratory. The last 8 months since receiving Watts' diagnosis have been painful and unbelievably challenging, but there has also been intense beauty and sweetness in the midst of it all. . . almost more so because of what we were going through as a family. Just as it has turned most of life upside down, it seems to have also shifted the lens through which we look at life. Small things are worth celebrating. Today is worth living in fully. His grace truly is sufficient for today, His mercies new every morning. Too often I've lived with my eyes fixed on the next "big thing" coming up... and have missed the wonder of today.

Six months ago on Watts' first birthday, we had just been discharged from a methotrexate round of chemo and Watts was not feeling himself at all. He has come a long, long way since then. Praise Jesus.

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Watts made counts yesterday (1200 ANC with awesome platelets and hemoglobin) so we are heading to Brenner in a few hours for five days of inpatient treatment. He will be receiving the chemo drug etopside and cytoxan. Historically, this has been an easier drug on Watty's body but he does tend to stop eating. Please pray for protection over his little body from short-term (and long-term) side-effects, for the chemo to do its job, for an appetite, and for sleep.

Happy boy.

Watts just toddled into the kitchen chuckling to himself and holding an uncapped marker. Amused, I followed him back into the hallway and found an original “art piece” on my newly painted walls. I turned and asked him about it and he started to laugh-- a good, deep belly laugh that bent him over in the middle and made him have to stop to catch his breath after a few seconds. Any words of reprimand slipped away and we sat on the floor and laughed about markers on the wall and giggled as we scrubbed them clean.

Watts is doing so well. After almost eight months of having high dose chemo coursing through his body, Watts seems to be coming out of a fog and feeling more and more like himself. It as if we can now see, truly see him. His little personality, humor, and stubbornness have always been evident but have been masked by the strong drugs in his body. Time at home has helped too, I’m sure.

His body is getting stronger. He walks and runs and talks and sometimes eats really well. He squabbles with his sister like an old pro; stealing her toys, smacking her in the face, and getting into the middle of anything and everything she is playing with. [It is important to note that she does the same to him.] He is also tenderhearted and frequently goes to hold Piper’s hand or give her hugs if she is upset about something.

I am obsessed with this boy, to put it mildly. He is a delight to this family and I am so humbled and grateful to be his mother.

 **I feel compelled at the end of this encouraging post to ask for the prayers not to stop! Although we have finished the most intense part of treatment, this journey is far from over. Relapse most frequently occurs in the second year of treatment which Watts will be starting in about 10 weeks. We are so thankful for how well he is doing and so, so hopeful for his future, but at the same time we ask for continued prayers for our warrior boy.